Obama admits collusion with world leaders and various globalist banking cartels to siphon wealth from the world’s middle class. “I cannot tell a lie,” he said to an undisclosed source. “George Soros made me do it!”
In a less-than-world-shattering interview by a completely unknown, but sort of trustworthy local journalist, the current occupant of the half-White House bared his soul about his life, his likes, his dislikes, his desires, his pet peeves, and his appearance on the world stage which his entire administration has been all about. Stopping only eleven times to adjust the teleprompter and make passes at the journalist, the self absorbed Obama made it clear that if the interview couldn’t be all about him he would take his nuclear football and go home.
“Ah yes,” he sighed after a particularly potent blast on his five stage, reciprocating, Super-Bong. “We really cleaned out the rubes with Gore’s global warming bullshit.” Bloviating on his skills as a “soldier in the fight to eradicate the American middle class,” Hussein explained the role of the infamous Nazi collaborator, George Soros, in the global enterprise. “He made most of it possible by paying off everyone that the Royal Family of Saud missed.”
When pushed to elaborate, Hussein carefully repacked his Wonder Bong before replying, “Everybody knows how the Prince of Saud paid my way through Columbia and Harvard, but they don’t know how a chance meeting with Soros at a Chicago bath house made my election to public office a walk in the park.” After a mind-numbing blast on his Happy Hookah, Hussein continued, “That old boy sure did take care of business. Not only did he clear the way for the Global Warming Hoax by buying up the Main Stream Media, he showed all the world leaders how to get their own piece of the Global Warming Pie”
At this point in the interview the intrepid journalist was reeling from the noxious fumes from the administrator’s ‘Peace Pipe’ and had to repel several amorous advances by the well-baked executive. Worried that the petulant president might call for help from the Secret Service agent sleeping in the corner, the journalist packed up his equipment and stumbled to the door and after briefly being outwitted by the handle, made his break for freedom and chastity.
Fearing for his life and the health of his hemorrhoids, the intrepid journalist has gone into hiding, but promises to add more to his report as soon as his ‘Obama Bullshit Decoder Ring’ arrives in the mail and the doctors release him from rehab.